A Thousand Year Flood

by The Cheap Dates

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  • Cassette + Digital Album

    6 Track EP on a surf blue cassette. Limited to only 100 copies!

    Each cassette is loving jammed into a vintage lunch sack (hand numbered), wrapped with the greatest of care, and jettisoned into the universe like Spock at the end of Wrath of Khan. From there an order of blind monks coats it in a protective meringue-like substance and whispers obscenities at each package. After that the postmaster general sets fire to it in front of 3 starving orphans and *POOF* like magic it appears on your front stoop.

    Includes unlimited streaming of A Thousand Year Flood via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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"It starts as a fun campy drive-in monster movie and ends as an intense Lucio Fulci film. Had me from beginning to end." -Maximum Rock N Roll

"Seven tracks of tense, angular punk rock from these Chicago, IL locals. The vocals are pretty anguished and there are a lot of interesting guitar phrasings throughout the cassette..." -Razorcake


released March 11, 2016

on this recording the cheap dates are:

cody: bass
danny: guitar/shrieks
henry: drums/lungs
sean: vocals

recorded, mixed by henry
mastered by marky kobane
recorded at the velvet underground
released by don't panic records and distro

all lyrics by henry
except 'underground' by danny and henry

front cover: gustave dore - the deluge
from genesis 69:69
in the bible, bruh



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Aggro Rock 'N Roll

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Track Name: End Over End
show me what i don’t wanna see
and i don’t wanna be me
don’t wanna breath

strangled, frozen in time
she comes every night
to take my life

sleepless, i can’t close my eyes
i die every night
a thousand times

hex me, my teeth rotting out
i tear at my skin
to find a way out

you can slit my throat to make amends
and drag my entrails out

staring, out my window i see
behind vacant eyes
guilty they scream

her face, on my tv screen
if you kill yourself
you will be free

hanging, my floor blackened now
spiraling down
in darkness i drown

hag me, take the life from me
and even in death
i’m trapped in this dream

you can slit my throat to make amends
and drag my entrails out
end over end
Track Name: 1000 Year Flood
trapped in a world that looks like hell
its funny just how far we fell
we beg, we cry, we plead
we beg on broken knees
and pray to god from down in hell

my mind washed away with all this blood
i'm looking forward to a 1000 year flood
the rooks all fat and fed on all the pain we shed
surfing our entrails to our grisly end

surfing through this downward spiral
counting the track marks on my soul
life is getting cheap
and i really need some sleep
these hungry years they take their toll

my mind washed away with all this blood
i'm looking forward to a 1000 year flood
the rooks all fat and fed on all the pain we shed
surfing our entrails to our grisly end
Track Name: King Rat
born of infected stock
king rat surveys his lot
a history
of rape and greed

we tangle in a knot
not knowing we are caught
feed off ourselves in sleep
as we claw up the heap

the prize a pit that stands so tall
i’d break my jaw to eat it all
my stomach tearing at the seams
if i could have it all, if i could have it all

latch down with swollen jaw
i break my every law
profit from pain
oh what a game

i cloak myself in pride
my crown is made of lies
your flesh will build my home
your young will raise my throne

i pray i die alone
blind, deaf and all alone
the king impaled, bound by entrails
and i will sleep upon my throne

our kind will rot down in the dark
no one will know our parasite heart
if it must end than end with me
what better way to cure disease

no more than grease upon the mirror
and no one will know
we were ever fucking here
Track Name: Coldbringer
a flash of light
turned the world
to endless night
endless cold
eden fell
to ash and bone

the wheat did burn
as the herd
ate of their young
and their dead
ground their bones
to make their bread

staggering blind
through the dead heart
of all that man made
and now stands a grave
with every night
new cries ring out
a howl on the wind
he leaves only skin

we kneel, faithful
behold his grace
proudly tearing
our flesh, our gift
his jaw twisting
into a smile
hurting, longing
all left behind

a flash of light
turned the world
to endless night
endless cold
eden fell
to ash and bone

the king did come
to guide us
from our throne
in to the heap
and now this rock
can rest in peace
Track Name: Underground
you're out at the bar late one saturday night
walking alone you're drunk from all the pints
eyes shot red so fucked you're seeing twice
can't find your way you're blinded by headlights
stumble upon a door you open with all your might
follow down stairs what you see is such a fright

a bunch of CHUDs drinking beers down by the keg
dancing and moving to shitty EDM
the place is packed and all the dudes are dicks
the girls don't like you cause you're not their kind of sick
its lookin' like there's gonna be a fight
and worst of all the drinks are overpriced

the CHUDs come up from the underground saturday night
walkin' down the streets they're lookin' for a fight
turnin' humans into CHUDs on sight
an army of braindead fucks fill the night
the TV news has nothing much to say
i just pray that officer Goodman comes to save the day

a feast of flesh becomes this human zoo

what makes you think that this isn't true
disease is spreading like the flu
what makes you think that this isn't true
CHUDs are coming after you
and they're gonna dine, gonna dine, gonna dine on you
Track Name: Crash & Burn
nuts and bolts, tearing steel
slow as life, nothing's real
the cabin breaks, into daylight
blind and breathless, into the white

a tearing sound as loud as god
as every surface's clawed
strapped to a falling star
and everything just falls apart

a world once big and bright
sits small from the heart of night
down the drain i whip and thrash
as i become no more than ash

cascades, pale and white
cascades, of a dying light
slow descent, with land in sight
and landing now there's no daylight

breath held, an eternity
as they watch what became of me
strange faces on the screen
when their cheers turn to a scream

the slow cascade of life
sits still against the sky
no words, no thought, no breath
as they fight just to make sense

two minutes, burned in deep
a void stuck on repeat
a void stuck in the air
that smoke just frozen there

so now, begin again
when nothing broke will mend
flashbacks, all sour and scorn
as old loves will bear new thorns

so this
is what
they call
free fall
so this
is all
a crash